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Not blinking one eye, as he looked straight in the camera, this average looking guy claimed to have bedded nearly two hundred women by using his Pick Up Artist (PUA) techniques. I couldn’t help but laugh. Not because he was the “average Joe” in looks. But his hubris was off the charts. Perhaps, that was what attracted the girls to him! Or could it be that many of these girls were simply naive? I doubt that. Not in the 21st Century. So what was it? Do we care? I believe many young men do care. So, allow me to show you the difference between the “smarmy pick up artist” and the “21st Century pick up artist”.

Interestingly, he did not mention the quality of the females he supposedly seduced. Which lead me to thinking “What kind of woman would fall for insincere ‘love talk’ from an ordinary looking guy?” Maybe these women are starved for attention! And he is not the only guy on YouTube to tout PUA for gaming the female. In my research, I found a few dozen. All with the same boring technique. All with the same zeal, leading to nothing and nowhere. All BORING! I’m sure he wasn’t picking up 200 girls he wished to marry. Don’t forget Casanova had syphilis. Pretty sure this guy was diagnosed with some weird disease. The PUA is a guy who puts it on thick and he is “on his game”. The Internet is inundated with ‘how to be the best pick up artist’. It’s up to you though, whether you want to be that “smarmy PUA” guy or that “smart PUA” guy. Trust me; you’re never going to run out of women to sleep with. The question is, don’t you wish to have some value? The 21st Century Man You Can Be is beginning to desire the girl with integrity and a bit old fashioned in her values, with an amazing spirit for success.

The values are in the process of shifting. The reason is that the 21st man who is on his way to full strength manhood is the bait! This means that you are the pursued. Women, as a general rule, are interested in connecting with a man. They use their highly effective, instinctual, time tested, female PUA powers to lure and hook a man they deem worth hooking. And they usually do get the man in their net. Brava for the smart female! Since women are growing in the 21st Century, isn’t it time for men to shift their PUA beliefs as well? Even women are on the prowl these days. Chances are, they can smell you before you get there. And most women don’t want the ‘smarmy’ guy; they want the ‘smart’ guy, strong, confident and interesting. Even if it’s merely for a night in most cases.

Most men today do not match up to the level of the modern female; they need tricks to draw attention from women. These pick up maneuvers, no matter how cunning, work only for the short term and generally on women whose quality is suspect.

Women of worth want a man of substance. The modern woman is more aware, educated, independent, ambitious, and healthy, lives longer, and in some categories, earn as much and even more than men.

In my book, The Man You Can Be For The 21st Century, I present the data that affirms women’s progress. A man who is solid in his masculinity or, at least, has a grip of the goals to gain it, does not need word games, bodily postures, and girl-boy coaching from a dude who slept with 200 women, to connect with the female.

A healthy man with normal social skills, polite behaviors, clean appearance, clothes that fit, and above all, a sense of purpose, are aphrodisiacs for most single women who are interested in connecting with a man. It doesn’t hurt to know the humanities either. More on that later.

The challenge for young men is to develop their masculine traits to their fullest that includes: The physical, mental, emotional, aesthetic, social, and spiritual. By striving to develop these essential aspects of masculinity and skills as a social being, he then grows into being a virile and strong man. Often equal to the numerous women who are now out performing and out smarting men in almost every important categories of life.

These types of men are in short supply and yet he is just the kind of man women want. Short supply with high demand translates into “Revaluate your PUA; you are also being hunted.”

Choose to be a modern man, a superior man, of this 21st century. A lot is changing in it and you have the opportunity to use these changes to your advantage, including relations with the opposite sex, if you are aware of what is happening and how quickly the times are shifting.

The Man You Can Be for the 21st Century offers guidelines that help spin your head in the right direction and moves away from ‘smarmy’ behaviors, that would otherwise put you in a room full of adolescent pick up artists, and in most cases, as the girls say ‘jerks’.

I emphasize in my book, The Man You Can Be For The 21st Century, the importance of challenging the culture you are immersed in. To challenge does not necessarily mean to rebel. Many young men deem it that way, but allow me to explain, as there is a vast difference between rebelling and evaluating (challenging) what is worth pursing and what isn’t. To challenge intelligently is to discriminate between your goals, attitudes, and beliefs that either serve you (help you) or cause a disservice (harm you) and in some cases worse, thereby tripping you up for a long time to come.

What I am about to present to you about your smart phones will definitely be challenging your current modus operandi. Pretty much since birth, phones and digital technology have been a crucial part of your daily existence. So, what I present before you will either cause you to “rebel” or “challenge” what is happening in today’s society of smart phone users. Let’s start with some statistics, before you throw this article into the “rebel” pile.

Potential consequences: Smart phones make you dumber. Yep, that’s right. Excessive use of smart phones weakens the mind, memory, and brain performance, thereby hindering so much of the other area’s you will need to perform in life. How? It makes you less efficient. According to Apple, most people use the ‘smart-phone” 80 times a day, which translates to 30,000 times in a year! Now start counting to 80. Look at your phone and count. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight…eighty!!!! Schew. Not even cognizant of it, are we? If you don’t get that, then tap your fingers on a desk 80 times. Not as much fun as texting, emailing, calling, texting, watching Netflix on your phone, but it sure makes a point.

A lengthy article in the Wall Street Journal, entitled “How Smart-Phones Hijack Our Minds”, cited several studies that erase doubts about the debilitating effects of the use of smart phones. While the entire article is relevant, it was the conclusion of the article that caught my attention. It stated: “As the brain grows dependent upon technology, the research suggests the intellect weakens. The evidence from the studies repeatedly affirms that using a smart-phone or even hearing one ring or vibrate produces a welter of distractions that make it harder to concentrate in a difficult problem or job.”

Two of the studies outlined in the article illustrate the point. I’m paraphrasing and condensing, so you get the message quicker. I’m worried you may be distracted by your phone.

520 under graduates at the University of San Diego were told to place their phone in front of them; others, to place their phones in their pockets or handbags; and others were told to leave their phone in a different room. The worst scores in ability to focus and solve an unfamiliar problem came from students who had their phones in front of them. The best scores came from the students who had left their phone in a different room. The handbag and pocket group scored in the middle.

Another study demonstrated that people who were instructed that the 40 statements told to them would be put in a computer as they typed them, recalled less, than the people who were told their typed statements would be erased after they typed them. This indicates to me that the computer was a crutch. It put part of their brain to sleep. Like the body, the brain muscles need exercise to grow. Something to consider, hmmm!! The mental laziness smart phones induce is scientific and very real.

I wonder if my 103 year old mother, who never forgets a date (she literally just called me to remind me about dinner this Monday), handles her finances superbly, and could navigate her life, even to this day, quite successfully whilst living independently would be able to live so well? Could her currently astute mental power have been systematically sapped by the current technological prosthesis that reduces the brains growth and use, had she had a smart phone? What a great example and besides, who wouldn’t mind living to 103, in good shape with excellent mental prowess.

You, the 21st Century Man have the advantage of being aware of the weakening effects of the ‘smart-phone”. You can begin to adjust and be judicious as to when, where, and how often to use it and other devices like it.

Just by using smart judgment about the smart phone puts the 21st century man ahead of his competitors, whose brains are becoming flabbier with each day of unskillful use. While I certainly understand the super hot girl is texting you a lot or your friends are constantly communicating with you via text and calls about the party on Saturday night, you will discriminate when to put the phone down, pay attention to what is in front of you and prioritize when to respond or call them back. If it’s only Monday, the party can wait, but your boss may get pissed.

You may think it’s “multi-tasking”, but in truth, it can’t happen as you see from the data above. Something will suffer.

My 21st Century Warriors, put the phone down and pay attention. Know what’s important and what isn’t and above all, live to be 103 without mush brain. BTW, if you want to track your phone time, download the APP “Screen Time Tracker”. Have you reached 80 thumps on your desk? Nah, you’ve paid attention and now you’re challenging the norm and confronting an issue.

Bravo for the 21st century man! He knows about the game in town and will spread the word of this article to his friends.

THE MAN YOU CAN BE FOR THE 21ST CENTURY

Soft Skills: Jobs, Work, Social Skills and the Liberal Arts

What is a man’s visceral reaction when he hears the words “soft”? Well, if it’s about a woman, it’s generally a good thing. If it’s about himself? Not so much. However, in this article, you are truly going to appreciate the word soft and the advantages it will bring you as The Man Of The 21st Century, when you acquire your “soft skills.”

There are jobs, and then, there are good jobs waiting for the Qualified Man. But these good jobs require focused effort to secure. Increased competition from robots, to outsourcing, the high cost of advanced training, the shifting trends in the economy, technological innovations, and the input of mega bundles of information have set up more hurdles to jump through today than in just a few decades past. The 21st century man, who keeps in tune with what is happening, can step in front of the line for the jobs that promise a better future. But keep in mind, that to be eligible for desirable lines of work, you need to think and to study the needs and ever changing conditions of the 21st century. You’ll need to look ahead while being able to turn your head in different directions.

I read two fascinating articles in the Wall Street Journal (September 5, 2017) entitled, “Bring Back the Work Ethic”, and “The Liberal Arts Are Marketable”, which highlight and basically give the same advice as my book, THE MAN YOU CAN BE FOR THE 21ST CENTURY, urging the modern man to study in order to succeed in today’s work world.

Quoting from the first article about the work ethic, Mr. Bob Funk, the chairman, CEO and founder of Express Employment Professionals, one of the nation’s largest job agencies, states “Start with skills. Hard skills and experience are only half of the equation and not the most important half.” Furthermore he states “So many people do not realize how important the soft skills are to unlocking job opportunity”

Interestingly enough, and fascinating to me, the WSJ article went on to say: “The Survey found the top five traits employers look for are as follows: attitude, work ethic/integrity, communication, cultural fit, and critical thinking.”

The second article in the WSJ “The Liberal Arts Are Marketable” by Randall Stross, speaks about the value of liberal arts. “Undergraduates today often crave narrow specialization in fields that they imagine will be of immediate interest to employers”. Thereby strongly reinforcing the practical wisdom Mr. Funk had spoken about, when he learned about employees through his many years of experience.

As CEO, Mr. Funk points out; the specialized skills are only “half of the equation” and “not the most important half”. So, here we have three educated, successful men giving you some sound advice.

Before even reading these articles, I had written so much of the same in my book ‘The Man You Can Be For The 21st Century’, when I speak of jobs, job skills and how a 21st Century young man can advance himself successfully. What is it I am really pounding home? “The liberal arts-history, philosophy, political science, religious studies, literature, theater, and the arts (humanities), promote learning of the important “soft skills”.

These “soft skills” that I speak of in my book, include: social awareness, manners, communication skills, understanding of human nature, critical thinking, aesthetic sensitivity, and knowing how to dress, which Mr. Funk also brings up in the WSJ article. He states very clearly “so many people are unfamiliar with the fundamentals of work. From knowing how to dress, and showing up on time, to taking directions from a boss.” I pound this home in my book as well. Though I state it a bit differently than Mr. Funk, dressing well, being consistent and disciplined on a daily basis has been a constant in my life and garnered many rewards.

The 21st century man learns the ‘soft skills’ and studies the humanities, as well, as becoming proficient in specialized, potentially sellable skills. How? The man of today updates his education for the 21st century by cultivating the faculties of both sides of his brain. Which I emphasize STRONGLY in my book.

That’s right, I’m talking about you! The Man Of The 21st Century! You strive to mine all the strength of the masculine energy not yet released from your body, mind, and spirit. You strive to develop all aspects of yourself as a man and as a worthy member of society. What happens then? You become more than the sum of your specialized parts. Not only will you grow into a better man, but also become far more worthy and well rounded as an employee, giving you an edge over most of your competitors who’ve not cultivated their “soft skills” and thereby making you a much better prospect for an excellent financial future.

As I said in the beginning, you may balk at tapping into your “soft” side. But in this case, it’s highly recommended and crucial that you do tap into your “soft skills” and then you’ll become a man of full strength, because you’ve cultivated your whole self.

And girls really dig it! Till next time, take care and don’t forget, you’re a 21st Century Warrior.

Sincerely,

James Douglas Lee

https://www.wsj.com/articles/bring-back-the-work-ethic-1504549941

https://www.wsj.com/articles/the-liberal-arts-are-marketable-1504549779

THE MAN YOU CAN BE FOR THE 21ST CENTURY

Social Skills: Pay attention

Most problems in the work place, or with family, women, friends, and associates are often due to poor social skills. This usually happens accidentally and without intention because it may not have been a part of ones upbringing or the learning scheme of our current cultural climate. This can have a severe and negative impact on a young man’s life and future.

But the good news is, social awareness and good manners, which are learned in the home or self-taught, engages others and encourages cooperation, group support, and even improved job performance. Let’s talk more about this, the negative and positive’s of manners.

What happens when the negative effects of poor social skills are wide spread and intrude into the social fabric? Unfortunately, if affects bringing people together? The general decline in civility, if you will. Today’s current climate emphasizes informality and “Do your own thing”. What may be contributing to this decline? The vulgar and crudely acting characters portrayed in all forms of visual media that millennial’s are glued to on a daily basis. The scarcity of well mannered and competent men portrayed in the media, and internet addiction (6 hours a day other than for work or school) which sucks out the opportunity to learn the subtle clues and sensitivities that are fixed ingredients for normal social interactions. It hammers away at people every minute of the waking day. The consequences of this incessantly repeated depiction of unrefined social behavior can effect a man’s job and his performance, not to mention his entire future. Allow me to throw a real curve ball, that also means financial future. Who wants that?

‘A recent article in the Wall Street Journal (19 August 2017), entitled, “The High Cost of Workplace Rudeness,” points out an effect of these very issues discussed in this article:

“ Whether it’s ignoring a colleague’s email request, snapping at someone in a meeting or interrupting a conversation to respond to a text message, modern workplace rudeness is varied and rampant.” Needless to say, rudeness results in poor work performance. This is hardly surprising. What should give pause, however, to the thinking person are the words, “rampant” and “varied”. These words in the article suggest that a general state of offensive manners exists in and out of the work place. It also went on to state that “Rudeness can be contagious”.

Young men today, and especially the many who are immersed in the distracting world of digital social media, are particularly vulnerable to the consequences of living in a vacuum of face-to-face interaction. Many young men are unaware that their behavior to friends, colleagues, girl friends, family members, and employers can be off-putting and even offensive. Ignorance of good manners does not pay-off. A perfect example I can share is from a good friend of mine who is a CEO, he told me that several well qualified employees were solicited to be rehired after the company recovered from the 2008 debacle. He went on to tell me that he threw away the applications of former employees whose social behavior, in his words, were “immature”. Employees who had social polish and grace were first considered. Good manners opened doors; poor manners closed them. Which lends to the question I have for you, do you want to be employed or in the trash?

The Man of the 21st century strives to climb out of the rabbit hole to see what is happening outside of the screen, instead of burrowing in his tunnel. He aims to become aware and to understand the different worlds that people inhabit and live in. He does this by interacting with people he can touch and talk with, while having eye contact. He works hard on his social graces, politeness and takes the old adage “Treat others as you wish to be treated” quite seriously. Not only with respect, but with dignity and understanding. And in some cases, even compassion.

He studies the humanities (art, literature, music, theater, philosophy, religious studies and history) because it will help him gain knowledge of how and why people interact, the way they do. He makes a study of etiquette and practices good manners. “Hello, how are you? It’s nice to see you again”. If all of that fails to gain your interest, it also gets you the right kind of girl. The one you would be proud of and the one that would be proud of you.

My book, THE MAN YOU CAN BE FOR THE 21ST CENTURY gives applicable suggestions and references that provide more information and solutions for you, about this very topic. Consistent practice brings results consistently. Eventually it becomes innate.

The good news is that the practice of good manners and engaging social skills, for the 21st Century man, does not consume much time or energy. Yet, the benefits will clear the weeds to a smoother path toward success. By putting the knowledge of good manners to daily use, a man of the 21st century can navigate reasonably smoothly and pleasantly within his personal life and the workplace. Being awake and determined to become whole, complete, and effective in all categories are the building blocks toward strong manhood.

This is not to say you can’t hashtag and use millennial speak like “Sup” or “How you doin?” Simply knowing when and where to apply this kind of speech will get you a lot further in your life, when you don’t apply it in the workplace. Be aware of your environment and get your head out from behind the screen. Be a leader not a follower and lead by example. Then you will become a 21st Century Warrior.

Below is the link to my book. Go forth and conquer my 21st century warrior.

https://www.createspace.com/7173929?ref=1147694&utm_id=6026

Written by:

J.D. Lee